Cuba — Going Back by Tony Mendoza

Author:Tony Mendoza [Mendoza, Tony]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The University of Texas Press
Published: 1997-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Man sitting on the seawall in Havana

Boys fishing in Cojimar

Man with grandchild in a Havana park

“When the lungs fill up with water they sink. Usually I only find the skeletons. And the rings are still there.”

“So the fish eat them?”

“Well I’ve seen a leg in one place, a head in another. Lately there haven’t been too many rafters since the U.S. started returning them. So I’ve been going fishing.”

“You say you go out seven miles. Why?”

“That’s where the fish are. The shore is fished out. Also, all the fish by the Malecón are polluted. Where I get them, they are clean. The place I go to, a reef, it’s only 100, 120 feet deep. It takes me about 40 seconds to go down, and I stay down looking for fish for a minute. I used to last 3 minutes when I was young, but now I’m only good for 2, 2-1/2 minutes.”

“What happens if a boat sees you out there by yourself, seven miles out?”

“They usually slow down and take pictures.”

“Aren’t you afraid when you are out there far from shore, alone, without a raft? What if you get a cramp?”

“No, I believe in destiny. I’m going to die when destiny decides.”

“But aren’t you increasing your odds? Aren’t you afraid of running into a huge shark?”

“No. I know sharks. They don’t bother me. Sharks are afraid of sounds. Sometimes they swim around me, and if I want to get rid of them all I do is tap my knife quickly against the gun. They hate that metallic sound and they take off. If I’m close to shore and I see a shark I see only one thing—a big dollar sign. I’ll shoot him and try to bring him in. People here eat shark.”

“Are there any Great Whites here?”

“No, no, that’s our salvation! They don’t come here. No, I’m never scared at sea. I’ll tell you this. The way I feel in the sea, when I’m out there five or six hours off the coast, I feel at peace, because I’m among beings that love me, that give me life. I’m more scared when I get on land. People, I don’t understand them. They do strange things, they say strange things, I look at their faces and they look terrible. I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t understand humanity. I don’t want to talk to people. They look at you and say things that aren’t true. Sincerely, I feel much better with the fish in the ocean than with people on land. They are the ones that give me life. They are the ones that help me.”

. . .

I WENT TO THE COLÓN CEMETERY IN El Vedado, which is famous for its beautiful tombs and mausoleums. I wanted to photograph the tomb of my great-great-grandfather, Antonio González de Mendoza, my namesake, as well as the tomb of my grandfather on my mother’s side, Luis Menocal. My mother has never seen her father’s tomb, and I wanted to take pictures for her. The other man, my namesake, was the first chief justice of the Cuban Supreme Court, in 1902.

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